The Art of Conversation

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Children Of Divorce

The process of divorce is a difficult and stressful situation for all parties involved, especially children. Many children can find their parents’ divorce to be especially taxing, scary, confusing, and emotionally traumatizing. As a parent, it’s extremely important to know how to handle the process and relay an open dialog with your children about what is happening. Following are some helpful tips in how to handle the situation with children of divorce, and how to help them cope and understand.

What to do:

  • Continue your regular relationship with your children. Continue to take them places that you normally visit, engage in conversation and school programs, etc. Do not alter your behavior or relationship with your children due to feeling guilt, or malice towards your ex. It’s important your children have their relationship with you as stability.
  • Don’t engage in conversation about the other parent; keep your disagreements, fights, worries and concerns out of their minds. Confide in another adult with these qualms, such as a therapist or friend.
  • Look in to national organizations which focus on helping and comforting those who are divorced and children of divorce. Many places offer workshops for both parents and children.
  • Consider finding a therapist for your children. Many children often suffer from attempting to cope with divorce and often have issues sleeping, mood swings, clinginess, etc. A therapist for children can help them understand and express their feelings and thoughts.
  • Try to keep a hostility free dialog with your ex. It’s important for the children to see that their parents are under amicable terms. If this is not possible, take the higher road and keep your children out of your disagreements and avoid having them sense any hostility.
  • Keep an active interest in their school, academic and social lives. Many children of divorced parents suffer scholastically and will withdraw themselves from social ties. It’s important to know this and look for any signs of behavior changes and address them quickly, with understanding and sensitivity.
  • Be honest, open, and loving with your child. Make sure your child understands what is changing, and how things may become different for them, such as moving and spending separate periods of time with each of their parents. Let them know that while it will affect them, they’re not to blame. Be open and loving, and let your child know that they are taken care of and thought of.

While the situation of divorce is difficult and strenuous for everyone, it’s important to consider the needs and desires of the children involved. Vast changes in their lifestyle, and especially in home life, can affect a child mentally and emotionally and change them via behavior very easily. It’s paramount to take precautions and handle the situation carefully. By showing restraint, love, and honesty, a child is much more likely to handle the change of divorce better than a child who is not helped.

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